True You

The Simple Formula for Getting Stuff Done

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It’s so easy to not get things done. Email, phone calls, impromptu meetings can all eat up your entire day before you realize it. So what should you do? The staggeringly simple (but not necessarily easy) formula for getting stuff done is: 1) Do The Thing, and 2) Stop Worrying.

The staggeringly simple (but not necessarily easy) formula for getting stuff done is: Do The Thing, and Stop Worrying. Click To Tweet

Do The Thing

Yup. Simple. But just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it’s not scary. Or hard. Or whatever. I mean, first things first, right?

What stands in the way of doing whatever it is that needs doing?

Excuse 1: Not enough time

Guess how much time you’re wasting thinking about how much time you don’t have? A ton. Everybody is busy. If you want The Thing done, prioritize it. Over checking Facebook. Over Twitter. Over any of the thousands of time-sucking things that take over your life without adding a ton in return.

If it’s something big, you may need to really think about how to make the time to do it. The good news? It can be done.

Excuse 2: Not enough knowledge

If you’re doing something for the first time, you may think that you don’t have the knowledge or skill to do it. Don’t let that stop you! There are so many resources on every conceivable topic online, including “how-to” videos for all sorts of things. Or you can ask someone for help. Most everyone likes to be known as an expert, and many people are happy to help.

If you’re concerned about not knowing, think about how your learner mindset can be an asset. You might be looking at things from a brand-new perspective. Or you could have great insights to things a beginner would want to know (that an expert may have already forgotten!). And think about how much more excited you are as a novice than someone who’s done what you’re about to do a thousand times.

Excuse 3: Not enough nerve

You know that saying about how the slowest runner is beating everybody sitting on their couches? That. Progress beats inaction every time. Think about that for a minute.

What if you tell yourself that you’re just putting together a rough draft of The Thing. That’s not nearly as intimidating as, “You Must Complete The Thing!” which sounds way more fancy & final.

Draft = “hmm . . . that doesn’t sound too hard;” Complete = “OMG, I’m not sure I can do this!” At the end of the day, which would you rather have: a draft of The Thing, or a bagful of neuroses about completing The Thing (but no actual Thing)? If you said you’d rather have the bag of neuroses, this post is not for you.

You are awesome. You can do it!

Stop Worrying

…about perfection

If you’re waiting until it’s perfect, it won’t be, anyway, so you may as well get on with it. Go for good enough. Remember, 90% still gets an A! It’s so freeing to allow yourself to not be perfect (oh, and it can also free up tons of time). What doesn’t turn out right can be used as opportunity to improve. It’s like beta testing with software.

…about other people’s opinions

You’re bound to be harder on yourself than virtually everyone else. Except internet trolls, so don’t listen to them. They don’t count. And besides, if everybody likes you, you’re probably not very interesting.

As author Olin Miller famously said, “You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.”

And don’t forget to celebrate when you Do The Thing. You deserve it!

What’s your best hint for getting stuff done? Tell us in the comments below!

 

Give More by Receiving Well

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The buzz at a networking meeting I attended last week was all about giving. We were all talking about what we could give to the group, to each other, and to non-profits. Give, give, give, give, give! So exciting!

Then, someone said, “One of the best things people can do in groups like this is to receive.” Mic drop. Wow. What about “’tis better to give than receive?” Yikes! Receiving sounds so selfish!

But receiving has 3 gifts of its own:

  • Receiving allows others to be generous
  • Receiving gives others the chance to be experts, and
  • Receiving shows your vulnerability
Give the gift of receiving: it allows others to be generous, gives them the chance to be experts, and shows your vulnerability. Click To Tweet

Receiving allows others to be generous

Several years ago, I was in a horrible car wreck and couldn’t walk for months. My friends and neighbors sprang into action, with visits, casseroles, babysitting, and more. I was a bit overwhelmed, to be honest, until a pal told me how great it felt for her to be able to do something to help. She knew she couldn’t help me with my rehab, but she could bring lunch and her kid’s lame knock-knock jokes, which made me laugh. Super-hard.

Receiving gives others the chance to be experts

When you take someone else’s advice or recommendations, you’re showing them that you value their opinion. The giver is made expert. A colleague of mine was thrilled when a top executive asked for her recommendations on a project – taking her advice showed that he valued her knowledge and expertise.

Receiving shows your vulnerability

When you gracefully receive someone’s offer, you’re admitting that you can’t go it alone in this world. Which you can’t. A super-smart single mom I know realized early on that it takes more than just her to raise her wonderful kids. The act of receiving, for her, allows her to acknowledge that vulnerability so she doesn’t feel like she has to show up as SuperMom.

When was the last time you gave by receiving? Let us know in the comments below.

 

Maximize Your Productivity by Managing Your Work-Life Transitions

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Today’s porous boundaries between work and home can wreak havoc on productivity — thinking about work when we’re at home or obsessing about home matters when we’re at work can minimize our effectiveness in both places. These 4 tips can help you manage your work-life transitions:

  1. Be aware
  2. Clarify your intent
  3. Develop a routine
  4. Be flexible
Today’s porous boundaries between work and home can wreak havoc on productivity. Four great tips can help you manage your work-life transitions. Click To Tweet

Be aware.

The more conscious you are of your transitions from work to home (and home to work), the better you can manage them. Think about leaving home and arriving at work, as well as leaving work and arriving home.

And also think about when work shows up at home and when home shows up when you’re on the job. Oh, and guess what? With most jobs (and most homes), it’s pretty unreasonable to think that home stuff won’t show up when you’re at work and vice versa. You’re human. But you can have a plan.

Clarify your intent.

What is your goal for how work shows up outside of normal work hours? Your choices can range from never working away from your office, to only working at home after the kids go to bed, to not taking calls when you’re at home (or at an outside event), or blocking certain hours as “no work” hours. Whatever makes sense for you, at least 90% of the time. There will be exceptions, and that’s okay.

Also think about how your home life shows up during your work day. Depending on the type of work you do and your personal circumstances, you might set an intention for this piece, too. When my kids were little and I took conference calls from home at odd hours, my rule was: no interrupting unless someone was bleeding (which actually happened once!). Working some atypical hours also gave me flexibility to prioritize attending many of the kids’ late afternoon lacrosse and baseball games.

Develop a routine.

Making habits to open and close your workday can help you make the mental shift from home to work and vice versa. Some clients listen to business-related podcasts on the commute into work and music on the way home. Some open and close their days with “to do” lists.

One client of mine decided to mark her transition from home to work with the act of handing her kids their lunchboxes. For her, this was a symbol of sending them off to school, where she knew they were happy, learning, and in the capable care of others. Taking that perspective allowed her to stop worrying about whether or not their homework was done, or if they had what they needed at school, or if they had eaten well at lunchtime, or any of a thousand other things. Free from those worries, she was able to leave home and be energized and focused on her work day.

Be flexible.

It’s not always going to work. But rather than ditching the whole routine, know that you’re designing it to work for 90% of your days, not the 10% of times when things go crazy.

Take some time to think about how you might handle things when you need to work when or where you typically wouldn’t. Are there ways you can choose to limit work’s impact on your home life in these moments?

And also think about how things might go when your home life imposes itself on work. What kinds of things can you do to make things easier there?

 

By being aware, clarifying your intent, developing a routine, and being flexible, it’s a lot easier to manage your work-life transitions.

What’s your best practice to manage your work-life transitions? Let us know in the comments below!

 

5 Tricks to Approach Your Pay Negotiations with Confidence

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Negotiating complex pay packages isn’t easy. And very few people I know actually enjoy the process. Most people don’t feel confident in how they should approach pay negotiations. These 5 tips can help:

  1. Understand the package
  2. Know what you want
  3. Stand up for yourself (but don’t be a jerk)
  4. Be prepared to walk away
  5. Get help
Be confident in pay negotiations: understand the package, know what you want, stand up for yourself, be prepared to walk away, and get help. Click To Tweet

Understand the package

Don’t just think about base salary during pay negotiations. Short-term incentives (like bonuses and commissions), long-term incentives (like stock), benefits (like healthcare, retirement, and vacation), and the culture of the company, are all important.

If you want to understand short-term incentives better, be sure to ask about the target (usually a percentage of base pay), what the average actual payout has been for the past 3-5 years, and when you’d be eligible for your first payout. You can ask similar questions about long-term incentives.

Do your homework: read all of the materials that come with your offer letter. If you’re in college (or are a recent grad), your placement office may have helpful information. Many organizations put tons of details online, too. The questions you ask shouldn’t be easily answered by reading things you already have.

If you’re changing locations, you’ll also want to think about how taxes and cost of living will affect your offer, as well as what the relocation package looks like. Employers focus on cost of labor (how much it costs to pay people) rather than cost of living (how much it costs to live in a place).

While salaries are typically higher in New York City and San Francisco than they are in the rest of the country, they’re usually not high enough to offset the higher cost of living there. But other factors can make those places more attractive, too.

Know what you want

Be clear and specific about what’s important to you, and know that there are certain things that you may want that the organization is unable or unwilling to negotiate.

If the incentive pay makes sense to you, but the base pay doesn’t meet your expectations, spend your time talking with them about base pay, not about incentives.

And know that, while the cost of healthcare premiums is almost never negotiable, you might be able to negotiate an increase to base pay that can help offset it, if that’s something important to you.

Stand up for yourself (but don’t be a jerk)

The organization’s job is to get the most out of you at what they think is a fair price. It’s not to screw you over. Think about it. They want you to start your new job excited to contribute, not with a chip on your shoulder.

Your job, on the other hand, is to get the most out of the organization for what you’ll be doing for them. Your job is to stand up for what you want. It’s okay to be firm, but remember, nobody likes dealing with jerks, so don’t be one.

Don’t forget that how you conduct yourself in pay negotiations will almost certainly get back to your new manager (if you’re not already dealing with her/him). Don’t say or do anything during negotiations that you wouldn’t say or do in front of your manager.

Rank the pieces of the package you want to negotiate from the most important to the least, knowing you might not get through your whole list. And if it’s not really important to you, don’t try to negotiate it. It’s pretty easy to get negotiation fatigue, and from there, it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to Jerkville.

Be prepared to walk away

Ideally, the organization’s needs and yours match up well, but sometimes, they just don’t. When things don’t work out, try not to beat yourself up about it. If you take a job that’s not a match, it’s likely to mean heartache in the end.

If you feel confident and secure enough to actually be okay if things don’t work out with the job offer, it takes the pressure off so you can stay curious during negotiations. When you’re not so tied to the outcome, it’s much less likely that you’ll wind up doing something you regret (like pushing too hard or seeing a match when there really isn’t one).

Get help

Don’t go it alone – this is hard stuff! Make sure you have someone to bounce ideas off of who has your best interest in mind. Having your school’s career counselor or a trusted friend or your leadership coach in your corner can help you focus on what’s important and show up the way you want to.

What’s helped you most in your pay negotiations? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Killer Strengths: When Superpowers Go Bad

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Superpowers are wonderful and can take you far in life. But when taken too far, they can work to your disadvantage. You need to be aware of the flip side of your superpowers — killer strengths –especially if you’re under pressure or stressed out.

Keep superpowers from becoming killer strengths by being aware, developing your other superpowers, and getting outside perspectives. Click To Tweet

Killer strengths start out as something you’re great at, but morph into something that no longer serves you. If you’re great at analysis (superpower), you could lock things down into analysis-paralysis (killer strength). If you’re a relationship-builder, you might over-rely on getting consensus for everything from everyone when you’re under stress. Is one of your superpowers driving projects forward? You may lean toward being over-controlling in pressure situations. If you’re an out-of-the-box thinker, you might edge into anarchy if you get carried away.

Keep Superpowers from Turning Into Killer Strengths

Here are 3 tips to keep your superpowers in check: be aware, develop other superpowers, and get outside perspectives.

Be aware.

When you know the possibilities, it’s easier to keep a lid on things. You’ll be more likely to pull yourself back from a full-blown superpower meltdown if you know you have the tendency to go that route. If you know you tighten down and exert more and more control as things get stressful for you, be sure to check in with yourself in times of pressure to make sure you’re not overusing your superpower of control.

Develop your other superpowers.

When you only have a hammer in your toolbox, you either only get to pound nails, or you wind up using your hammer to do stuff a hammer wasn’t meant to do. (Pro-tip: hammers can’t take the place of screwdrivers.) If you’ve got several different superpowers, chances are better that you’ll have the right superpower for the job.

Get some outside perspective.

Whether it’s a coworker, your manager, a mentor, or a coach, talking with someone who has a different viewpoint can help you see things you might not. And when stuff gets stressful, ask for help. When you’re stressed, you’re less likely to be able to see your superpowers morph into killer strengths.

How do you make sure your superpowers don’t turn into killer strengths? Post a comment below with your best tip!